I started CrossFit last year, beginning of the summer. Before that, there was no gym. No workouts. Once in a while, I would get a wild idea to try something but nothing ever stuck until I jumped in the deep end at Terminus.

Physical changes – where to begin? I’ve gained weight but almost all my clothes are too big! I’ve slowly started to remedy that situation, but I hate shopping so there is that. The muscle tone that has developed is wonderful. A year ago, I wouldn’t ever wear shorts because I just didn’t like how I looked. I’d cringe at the idea of having to wear a swimsuit. But now, I’ve become so comfortable with myself none of that enters my mind. People seem genuinely surprised when I tell them I’m 40. Perhaps it’s that I’m so full of whimsy, but I suspect my time at Terminus has a large part to do with that!

The mental changes have been even bigger. Not only have I become more confident at the gym, but that confidence has translated to everything outside. Mentally, the gym has become necessary. Working out is one of the very few things that can completely check my overthinking brain. For that hour nothing else exists. There’s no room for it. Once I’m done with a WOD I’m calmer, collected, and have a level of clarity that otherwise I would have struggled to achieve.

I’m far and away more positive than I used to be, which if you met me at the beginning of this little CrossFit adventure you’d know, was no small feat. With the confidence that I have gained my views of myself, and how I spend my time and energy have all shifted for the better. My relationships have improved across the board. I’ve let a lot of things go that hadn’t been working or that weren’t in my best interests. It seems I’m always actively looking to better myself now in many ways.

Vickie Navarra – you! You are the reason I’m at Terminus. You gave me something I didn’t know I needed by encouraging me to try and to stick with it. You have been at this for far longer than I have and each time you come in with the wonderful attitude ready to rock it to the very best of your abilities. You are impressive my friend!

Robin Warnick and Jen Eastman – both of you ladies give me so much inspiration and helped me so much when I was just out of intro. You both always encourage me, push me, and you have always believed in me. Thank you.

I want to say that being at terminus has shifted my ideas of what beauty means for women. To all the ladies at Terminus, ALL OF YOU, I am in awe of you. Not only are you strong physically but in every aspect. You are all so capable, and the confidence that you all possess because of that is truly beautiful and inspiring.

Fun fact – I’m half Syrian. I know, look at me. I promise it’s true!

Just keep coming. Don’t give up. There is nowhere you are / will be that I haven’t been. I’ve thrown up, fallen off my rower, totally missed a pull-up bar when I jumped up for it, felt so completely defeated by things just not clicking that I’ve almost cried in the middle of the floor. Everyone expects it to be difficult physically but what I didn’t expect was just how difficult the mental portion would be. It takes a lot of courage to try something new, and to stay with it when it just sucks. Keep showing up. I promise you that you’re going to surprise yourself and keep surprising yourself. You’ve picked the very best, most encouraging community to help you accomplish it all. Also, and most importantly, be kind to yourself.

And when you’re done with intro, buy a pair of grips. If you buy nothing else, buy the grips.

Sonya feeling so bad for me on one of my first workouts she told me not to worry about any time or distance on the rower but to just keep moving. I was so embarrassed, but she was so kind, so I kept moving. You guys, it was bad.

The first time Patrick told me an enthusiastic “Good Allison!”. I used to get a lot of head tilts and “better!” from Patrick. When that first “Good” came without a suggestion or correction to follow I almost dropped my bar. It was a great day!

Post quarantine, this summer when we did Annie. I managed to keep pace with Logan. Just maybe 3 seconds behind him – I was so proud. I felt great about that until I got home and realized the massive raspberry in a delicate place, I had created from doing so many sit-ups so quickly without the squishy mat. That took a while to heal!

Honestly, that I’m still here. There were rough days. Lots of them. Getting over the mental and emotional hurdles was so much worse than the physical in many ways. The fact that I’ve been at it for over a year with no intention of stopping, that I’m coming even more than ever is huge for me. Also, this past week I finally got toes to bar. I was so surprised I completely stopped. But then I got up and tried again, did it again, and again!

So many goals, but the main one is just to keep working on all the things and try and get a bit better each time! I think a lot of you all know I have some background with training dogs (agility mostly). My favorite instructor for that told me a long time ago that beginners always want to work on advanced handling, advanced handlers want to work on a master’s level, but the masters always work on basics. I try to apply that to CrossFit. I have a lot of little things that need ironed out, so just trying to work on checking those boxes as I move along.

That being said, I do want a muscle up, bad. And to handstand walk more than a few steps. I’m getting closer!!